We are family

Apparently I wrote this last year (August, 2013)  and never published it!  How silly of me.  Never to late I guess...


Remember the old song, "We are family, all my sisters and me."  Well today I changed it to We are family, all my chickies and me.  We went to the swimming pool today and each of my two younger chickies got to invite a friend to come along.  I took a break from catching up on some reading and got in the pool with them.  Next thing I know we are making a train in the pool and I'm pulling everyone along.  Great exercise! I'm feeling it now  :)   While pulling them around like a train my daughter started singing out loud "We are family all my sisters and me.  I had to laugh.  So I started singing with her and changed the verse.  We are family, all my chickies and me.

This is the time I cherish with my chickies.  In just a few weeks school will be starting back and I will have go back to work full time.  Once that starts, life is in full swing with not much down time.

Ode to the oldest chickie

In the mail the other day we received a senior portrait announcement.  Wow.  Really?  Seriously???  Your talking about my baby.  My baby chickie! (I'm the momma bird and my kids are my chickies).  When she was born in 1997, 2015 seemed so far away.  And it was.  Time has flown just like her growing up has too.  She is a beautiful, head strong, brilliantly intelligent, kind-hearted girl...young woman.

When she was 4 months old her pediatrician encouraged me to read Dr. Dobson's book "The Strong Willed Child" because she sat straight up when he put his arm over her legs to test her reflexes.  She didn't use her arms or anything just sat straight up like it was nothing.  He said she is going to be a determined girl and boy howdy was he right!  He also told me when she was 4 weeks old that she had colic when I was about to go out of my mind with her screaming and crying.  I took her to him and said "please fix her" with huge alligator tears coming out of my eyes.  I was exhausted and felt like I was the worst parent in the world.  He reassured me and said it was going to be ok that we would just have to wait it out.  He explained there was a couple of theories about colic.  One was that it was gas bubbles in the tummy and her digestive system was slow to work.  The other was that she was going to be super smart.  That the neurons in her brain were firing faster than her growth and that she was having a headache.  This "colic" lasted for 4 months!  I thought I was going to lose my mind.  But I believe the later was true.  She is super intelligent!  She is holding in on 3rd in her class right now with all kinds of college offers coming in the mail.  She is simply amazing.  Of course I'm suppose to say that, I'm her mom.

When she was 4 years old she would hold adult conversations with people.  Folks would look at me and say "how old is she again?"  And I would just shake my head and say 4!  When she was 14 she wanted to be grown up and on her own!  We would allow her to make some adult decisions on her own and sit back to see how she would handle them.  When things didn't work out the way she wanted or expected we would talk her through the consequences or how to do things differently. 

Now she is 17 and about to start her senior year in high school.  I'm blown away.  All those older parents out there who told me "don't blink", "it will go fast", and "hang on" were all correct.  I blinked.  I was tired and exhausted some days...years.  And now 2015 is around the corner whether I like it or not.  I have asked myself many times this past year "have I given her the foundation she needs to make it on her own some day?"  Time will tell.  I pray that she has been given those roots to spread out her wings soon.  She is sitting on the edge of the nest right now tottering on the edge. 

Guess we need to call and make an appointment for those senior photos.  Sniff, sniff, tears, happy smiles.

Shine like stars in the universe

Today I was reminded of why I do the job I do.  I am a high school teacher.  The new school year coming up will be my 20^th year!  I love teenagers.  I love their energy and enthusiasm for life…well most days anyway.  Depends on the day and their mood.  People always tell me “your crazy!” or “aren’t you afraid or scared of doing that job?”  I always chuckle and say no way, I love my teenagers.  They are just over grown kids in big bodies. 

Today I was given a reminder of why I do what I do.  I met Francisco and his family around his sophomore year of high school.  His mom and dad joined our Sunday school class and I instantly fell in love with them.  I witnessed Francisco and his brother get baptized shortly after joining our church.  Although I never really got to know him personally I knew who he was and knew he was a pretty good kid through working with our youth group at church.  He graduated from high school this past May and I was super proud of him.

Francisco stood up today at church and gave his testimony to the whole congregation.  His first statements were that he was going to say some things that even his parents didn’t know yet.  Don’t we all have those stories that we never wanted our parents to know about?  I know I did at that age.  He shared his story of struggles as a kid in junior high and some bad decisions he made to fit in with the crowd he was hanging out with.  His parents moved their family to our town and shortly afterwards started coming to our church.  Jesus turned his life completely upside down!

What a brave thing he did today getting up in front of a large congregation to share his story.  He just turned 18 a few days ago.  Not many teenagers would be that brave to face their mom and dad while standing up in front of their church congregation to share their story.

Francisco and Joanna, another teen in our church, are examples of how I want my chickies to turn out.  To be brave and live their life for Jesus. I want them to be bold and conquer any fears they have, to be able to stand up before a crowd and share their love of Jesus.  I pray they don’t have to go through life altering challenges to have an amazing testimony.  I think folks can lead ordinary lives and still have an amazing love story of what Jesus has done for them.  My own walk hasn’t been ordinary but that’s another blog for another day.

Plant your chickies where they can have awesome role models like Francisco or Joanna’s and Stephen’s (my 16 year olds friends that are awesome!) or Jacie’s (my 12 year old is head over heels in love with her!) or Cruz’s and C.J.’s (my son is in love with these boys!) or…you can place a name here. 

Philippians 2:15, “so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.”

These teens that I have named are doing just that, living their lives for Jesus so that they can shine like stars in the universe standing against a crooked and depraved world.  Walking boldly and courageously in a world that often contradicts His teachings. 

Live a life opposite of what the world says you should live.  I recently finished the book “Kisses from Katie” about a 19 year old girl who left her life of comfort and many luxuries to live in Uganda.  A world away from everything she had known to walk the walk and talk the talk of Jesus to show love to children of a forgotten place.  Being bold and living passionately for Him.  Nineteen years old and she adopted 13 girls to give them a safe home!  I want my chickies to live boldly like this for Jesus.  Now I hope He doesn’t call them to a far country but I will cross that bridge if I have to.

What a blessing it is to have Francisco and so many more teenagers that I can’t even list them all in this post who are a part of my chickie’s lives.  My suggestion to you is this; put older teens in your own chickies paths that they can look up to and watch them be bold for Jesus so that they may shine like stars in the universe too!

 

 

Sinful stickers

We have an old in-ground pool in our backyard that was filled in with dirt when we bought our house eight years ago.  It had a crack in the side and flooded under the house causing some major foundation issues that were repaired before our purchase.  Now this filled in pool houses a tree and a huge orchid plant along with grass and some dreaded stickers.  Not the small kind of stickers but the huge goat head stickers that hurt like the dickens when pressed into your skin.

I have this lovely bay window in my kitchen that looks out onto this filled in pool.  I can’t begin to explain how many hours I have sat at the kitchen table longing for that filled in pool to be filled with blue water and not sticker filled dirt!  I have made it my mission this summer to get rid of the stickers.  My three chickies learned long ago to not go around to that side of the backyard because in variably one of them or all three would start screaming from having a sticker in their foot or both feet.

So one of my early days of summer before it got extremely hot I longed for that area to be a nice area where I could go out and read my Bible or just have a nice hang out spot under the tree in the corner to just talk to God.  I have this really nice huge tree where the branches and leaves hang over the back fence and create this oasis of shade in the afternoon.  I put a little soda shop table with two chairs out there and planted a fern and some other shade loving plants to create the ambiance I was craving.  In the morning time I would go sit out there with my big cup of ice water (no coffee for this momma chick) and my Bible and have some much needed quiet time.

One morning as I spent some time out there I decided to take on the monster of the stickers in this patch of grassy knoll that we had acquired.  But to my demise these stickers were a lot harder to get rid of than I originally thought.  I collected a huge handful of stickers that were growing on the ends of some grass, walked them to the outdoor trash can, lifted the lid and said good riddens.  I had a smile on my face of accomplishment and was very proud of the yard work I had accomplished before the blaring sun took hold of the day.

Much to my surprise the next morning as I took my little stroll around the pool more stickers.  But not just a few patches here and there, lots more.  So I pulled them.  Sweated and pulled.  Walked to the trash and dumped them.  This has gone on now for six weeks.  Pull stickers, say ouch a few times, grumble under my breath about these dang weeds that have taken over my serenity.  By this time I have an old flower pot I put all my stickers in as if I collecting them to make a bouquet or something and then make a trip to the trash can because my little hands just couldn’t hold them all at one time anymore. 

So I started doing research on how to get rid of stickers.  My husband told me you have to get them by the roots or just burn them.  Burn them?  It’s already over a 100 degrees outside, most of the grass is dying from the exhausting heat and you want me to set a fire in our back yard?  Do you know me and fire?  I quickly shook that thought out of my head and did some online research with not much luck of an easy route out of this situation.

One evening last week on my evening stroll around the grassy knoll and watering my plants I thought okay by the roots it is.  I will just pull these little suckers straight out of the ground.  No such luck.  Those things are tightly woven into the ground and the dirt is hard as a rock right now.  Dryness has overtaken the land of the grassy knoll; so I told God, next time it rains I’m pulling these awful things out of the ground.  I figured it would be almost fall before that would happen.

Yesterday morning I woke to the sound of sweet rain dripping off the window sill outside my bedroom window.  Aw sweet rain, thank you Jesus for the rain.  Most folks are like “Yes! Rain in the summer, my grass is so dry.”  I’m like “Yes! Good riddens you little twerps in my yard!”  We had a slow, steady, sprinkling rain all day yesterday and then again this morning when I woke up; only this rain was little more than a sprinkling.  First thing I did this morning after eating breakfast was go outside to my sweet spot.  I grabbed my bucket and went to work.  It was a nice cool 73 degrees, perfect weather for pulling stickers.  I started working and squatting up and down, breathing heavier to the point of when I stood up I was dizzy.  So I had the bright idea of I need a stool or something to sit on and I really need something to help pull these suckers out of the ground.

I went inside grabbed my handy, dandy laundry stool and went to the garage to find some gardening tools.  And then it hit me.  Or better yet, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said you know it’s like asking God for help with things and the stickers are like sin.  Wow. Really, just wow.  I never thought of it like that.  All I had to do was ask God to help me get rid of these stickers and not once in my quest had I done that.  I told God I would do it when it rained, again thinking that’s a long way off.  He sent rain just for me to do this work.

Once I sat on the stool and thought about it more I started to really see these stickers for what they were in comparison to sin.  Sin can take over our lives so quickly and easily that sometimes we aren’t even aware of it if we aren’t paying attention.  I pulled a sticker weed.  Easy.  Straight out of the ground; but it broke off half way down to the ground.  Just like sin, we are aware that we have sinned but think no big deal it was a tiny sin.  Then I came upon a patch of stickers.  Lots of stickers.  Bigger sin or better yet, that little sin has now festered into something more than we originally thought.  God put in my heart the stickers could be in comparison to alcohol, drugs, lying, cheating, stealing, etc.  Or in my case sugar addiction!  That one little piece of cake won’t hurt but then I eat the whole cake.  Not in one sitting mind you but throughout the course of the day.

I worked harder on the sticker patches.  Actually pulling them straight out of the ground with roots and all.  I was so proud of myself!  By this time my flower pot is getting full of sticker weeds, roots and all.  Then I hit a patch that just wouldn’t budge.  Wouldn’t come out the ground.  As hard as I pulled and struggled I wasn’t making a dent in it.  It was a huge sticker patch.  I noticed that the sticker patches look different than the regular patches of grass as well.  By this point I’m getting stuck by the stickers in my fingers and the sting is pretty painful.  Then it hits me like a ton of bricks…gardening tools.  Oh yeah, I brought those things out here for a purpose.  God spoke to me.  He is the tool.  He works when we call on Him. I stuck that thing down into the ground and wal-la the whole sticker patch came out.  Here I had been struggling and getting poked like crazy when all I had to do was pick up the tool and use it.  Call on Him to help me! 

Some of the stickers were hidden in the grass and some were barely growing out of the ground.  And did you know there are stickers by the roots?  Yes, by the roots.  Ugliness hidden in the roots just like sin. Before I knew it I was a sticker pulling fool.  I had my tool, my little stool and wasn’t saying ouch anymore.  I was pulling those plants right up by the roots.  Then I thought about my chickies and how this is in comparison to our children.  Sometimes they are going to have sticker friends in their lives that we as parents are going to have to work to pull out of their path.  They are going to have to learn how to deal with stickers in their lives.  I have three chickies and we have encountered some stickers along the way.  While we let them learn how to handle those stickers, or patches of stickers, we guide them in making the right choices and relationships.  Is it easy?  No!  Will it be hard?  Yes.

My twelve year old came outside right about the time I had a sticker patch by the roots in my hands.  I asked her, “do you see these roots?”  She shook her head yes.  I gave her the sin analogy and she got it.  I could see in her eyes she got it.  Then I compared it to her friends and relationships.  She told me, mom you need to tell Miss Leah this story (our children’s minister at church).  I just smiled and agreed.

As I’m typing this I have a part of a sticker stuck in my left index finger and it’s starting to fester up and hurt pretty bad.  Just like sin, if we don’t ask God to help us deal with the problem and ask Him for His forgiveness things will fester and before we know it we have a huge problem on our hands.  In my nightly reading I turned to James 1: 12-18

“12 blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. 15 Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.  16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers.”

Don’t be deceived by sin.  It may be enticing and calling your name but turn away from it.  Ask God for His direction in your life.  Allow the Holy Spirit to do great works in you.  Persevere under the trial so you can receive the crown that is awaiting you! The pain from the stickers will ease up and eventually as you learn to get control over it; it will not have control over you.  My prayer for you is that you allow God to be your gardening tool and work out those stickers in your life.

Creating the nest

God has put writing this blog on my heart for a long time and I haven't stopped to create it until now.  My whole purpose in existence for my children whom I call "my chickies" is to give them the "roots" they need so that they may have "wings" to fly on their own someday.

 

Eleven years ago I attended my first MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) meeting and fell back in love with God.  Through this program, my life and the lives of my children were saved...along with my husband as well.  Our mentor mom, Gayle, gave her testimony one day and something she said has stuck with me till this day.  She said that as parents it is our job to give our children the roots they need so they can have wings.  I sat there and said "wow" that will be my parenting motto and it has stuck with me all this time.  I never forgot what she said.  She is a dear friend of mine now and I so appreciate the time she invested in my life to make me a better and stronger Christian mom.

 

The quote simply stated is "Parents give their children two things, one is roots, second is wings." Last night as I was praying and reading my Bible, God stuck this verse into my heart and it had great meaning to me that goes along with my parenting motto; Ezekiel 17:7 "There was also another great eagle with great wings and many feathers: and, behold, this vine did bend its roots toward him, and shot forth its branches toward him, from the beds of its plantation, that he might water it." (http://biblehub.com/ezekiel/17-7.htm) From the American Standard Bible.

 

If you read the scripture further it talks about the care of the vine during war.  I like this scripture describing the eagle with great wings and feathers.  We, as the parents, are the eagle who plant the vine.  We are to give them the roots so that their vine may grow. Make the "beds of the plantation" simply means, to me, give them a home worthy of coming from to call their own.  We make the home their safety net to fall back to each and every day until they fly away so when they are gone they will want to come back home to visit.  It's their safe zone.  Building the nest so to say.  Create a home where they can be themselves and feel comfortable to come to you with questions or help.  It's not always easy but will be so worth it in the end.  By creating a safe home, they will want to shoot forth their branches (arms) towards us.  More on building the nest in another post someday.

 

And don't forget while you "water the branches" by taking care of their needs that you take care of your needs as well.  If you allow your needs as a good parent to dry up then you can't give the vine (your children) what they need.  God can fill that need and He wants to fill your needs for you.  By allowing Him to guide you as the eagle then you will have all you need to keep your vines alive.

 

Build your nest with God as your leader so that you as the eagle...or the momma bird... can give your chickies the roots they need so they can spread their wings when they are grown.